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Intimacy is not always about sex! Feeling loved involves way more.

Updated: Sep 4, 2023

Most of the times 'sex' is supposed to be interpreted as giving or expressing love in relationships. But still those relationships may not work.
What’s missing?

Feeling loved is about feeling the expression of love in different forms.

Effort is attractive.
  • Dressing up for your partner.

  • Planning a surprise date night when its least expected.

  • Spending silent special moments cuddling before falling asleep.

  • Buying gifts and hiding them in places your partner would naturally gravitate towards.

  • Caring for your partner by actually listening to them, with eye contact.

  • Helping your partner with what they are struggling with without being asked.

  • Not taking for granted anything that they do for you. Appreciating every gesture like it matters.

Emotional Intimacy is equally important as physical intimacy.

Communication is prime.
  • Finding the right words to express what you want to say can sometimes be hard. If you're still finding it difficult. Take a paper and pen , and note it down. Look at it from different ways as to how it could be interpreted. Your mind will automatically show you why it should not be framed in a particular way. And when you find the right framework for what you want to say - COMMUNICATE IT - kindly.

  • Unresolved emotional differences, anger, hurt, or resentment, along with a lack of trust or a sense of being unappreciated can damage intimacy.

  • Money talk - one of the worst killers of intimacy.

Money is a sensitive topic, and no discussion should be left unresolved. Privacy should be respected, but the thin line between what is absolutely prime to a relationship and what is extra information - should not be crossed. Abusing this thin line, if there is - can create unnecessary conflict.

  • Practical hurdles - Being too busy , work pressures, demanding children, not getting enough time to relax can affect emotional intimacy adversely.

To Summarise,

Sex in no way, is a reassurance for love. It may be called 'making love', and it does stimulate the release of OXYTOCIN, the love hormone. But imagine a relationship with good sex , but no real respect, caring, appreciation, warmth, cuddling, and eye contact. That is more of a #onenightstand or a means to a need. If you were to start reassuring yourself, that since the sex is regular, the relationship will last, or is secure. Let me tell you, according to me, it is a highly debatable defence-mechanism that people weave into their lives to simply reassure themselves. #intimacy #sex #love #communication

Emotional Intimacy Makes a Massive Impact On your Emotional Wellbeing - Unconditional Love Is Needed.

Unconditional Love Makes You Feel A Sense Of Security.

When it comes to romantic relationships, unconditional love could mean that love doesn’t go away, despite challenges like difference in opinions, a situation where both partners refused to get on the same page, life-altering health conditions or changes in appearance or personality.

Unconditional Love Is Not Wanting Exactly The Equal In Return

When you give love, attention, care, a massage, or when you go out of your way to do something for your loved one completely for their well being without wanting ANYTHING but their wellbeing in your intention.

Unconditional Love Needs Acceptance And Forgiveness

As human beings, we all make mistakes. Sometimes we realise them, sometimes we don't. What matters most is taking responsibility if our partner has felt hurt or wronged. Apologising does not make anyone smaller, however unnecessary it may seem from your point of view. Being kind over being right - ALWAYS HELPS THE RELATIONSHIP. And if you are the one feeling wronged, talk about it, and say it kindly, show yourself sensitive about it, without being demanding of an apology, an immediate acknowledgement or a statement that this act or thinking pattern will be changed. REMEMBER, having said what you feel and having your partner hear you out and place their thoughts, is a foot in the right direction - this is a part of intimacy. And if you use words like, “I just want you to see my point of view.” Or “ you might not agree with me, but I feel that…” Or “ if I don’t tell you, it will eat me that….” Or “ Can we help this situation…”

Choose kindness always, over imposing something or being right. The moment you try to show how right you are, remember you are showing how wrong someone else could be. So start with saying you understand their point of view too, but you might not agree because… and then place what your thought process is. If you can get the other person to bleakly see where you're coming from - that’s good enough.”

Being intimate with your partner requires a balance of emotional understanding, an honest love for the other persons mind, body and soul, a deep trust that is unconditional and a creation of ‘us time’ to express this - apart from just the physical expression of love.

Loving attention could be : looking into each other’s eyes and feeling each other’s emotions or making an effort to really understand the other persons feeling and needs over your own, running your hand through your loved ones hair, or even holding hands while smiling at each other regarding an agreeable discussion. Spending time, giving each other loving attention, without this loving attention being SEX! - THIS IS INTIMACY

Tell Me Readers

What are your experiences with romantic relationships that matter?

Do women require more emotional intimacy or is it that they are more expressive about needing this in their lives?

Men can find it hard to express this need, because they grow up wired not to be the ones to cry or they might fall prey to appearing weak.

Why should intimacy be only one kind or for one sex?

Thats it for now. Love and light.

(VICTORIOUS MIND POWER does a course on "The Guide to a Fulfilling Relationship" To know more write to )

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